You Might Be a Mother of Boys If...Part 5

Well with these two weeks off, I've actually had some time to sit down and do some things that I've not made time for in a while.  This is for real the second blog post in a  week!  And since the list has been growing over the past year and half since I did my last "You Might Be a Mother of Boys" post, I figured I would go ahead and get Part 5 rollin'.  So here goes:

You Might Be a Mother of Boys If...Part 5

76. Favorite books in your home library include Walter the Farting Dog and What's That Smell?

77. You have, from time to time, experienced the rush of a Demolition Derby in your very own kitchen featuring the Little Tykes Cozy Coupe versus the Fisher Price Harley.

78. You know that lightening bugs can survive in a mason jar for five nights.  (Six if they're lucky.)

79. It is not unusual that you are often serenaded during your dinner preparation with a band made up solely of your children banging on pots and pans with wooden spoons.

80. When you go on the search for your favorite fuzzy blanket and pillow, you are more likely than not bound to find them in one of many blanket forts that are built around your house.

81. You know that hermit crabs  A.) can escape from their glass enclosures  B.) are  pretty fast little buggers and C.) have impeccable climbing skills.

82. You've had one or more bottles of urine in your car during a road trip.

83. You always have a dry wall repair kit handy at your house.

84. Your children ALWAYS laugh at Winnie the Pooh...for obvious reasons.

85. Your child asked Santa for a Fart Blaster for Christmas.

86. You really have no need for chairs around your dinner table since your children are in constant motion; moving, jumping, climbing, or dancing around the table even while eating their dinner.

87. Your family's favorite Olympic sport is Winter Figure Farting.  (Seriously.  This is a thing.  If you have boys, you probably know this already. If you don't, Google it.)

88. You have no one in your home to watch Disney princess movies with.

89. You've had a dog covered in applesauce.

90. You know that dogs will eat corn on the cob.  As in, the whole cob.  (But, it will come back up.)

91. You have first hand knowledge that one should NEVER give a gerbil a bath.

92. Your children are so rough and tumble that your youngest received his first bloody nose at the age of 2...from big brother.

93. You know not to leave your children in the bathroom alone with a full bottle of hair gel.

94. You know how long it takes to clean up 5 pounds of dry beans and 4 boxes of macaroni noodles out of carpet.

95.  You know that a Dyson can, in fact, lose suction.

96. You no longer ask your children to feed and water the dogs, because waterfalls in your hallway just aren't helpful.

97. You actually own a coin bank that toots when you put money in it. ("Drop in some loot to hear me toot." For real.)
98. You've spent many hours helping your child construct a "squirrel-catcher" because, out of the blue, your child decides that you need a pet squirrel.
99. Your children are not afraid of heights.  Or danger.  Or the dark. Or broken bones.  In fact, nothing seems to scare your children at all (much to your dismay).
100. You live in constant fear of the unexpected Nerf dart to the face.

Yep, our lives are certainly full of excitement thanks to these two!
But, we wouldn't change it for the world!  

"Boy, n,: a noise with dirt on it."
~Not Your Average Dictionary~

Till next time friends!
Brittany :)

P.S. For a look at the rest of this list, check out these blog posts:

You Might Be a Mother of Boys If...Part One

You Might Be a Mother of Boys If...Part Deux

You Might Be a Mother of Boys If...Part Three

You Might Be a Mother of Boys If...Part Four

You Might Be a Mother of Boys If....Part 4

With Liam's shenanigans yesterday, I figured out it was about time to add a few more items to my "You Might Be a Mother of Boys If..." list.  That kid kept me hoppin' yesterday!  (Lucky for him he's so cute!)

Rotten little stinker.  Wendy Hardin shot this pic of him two weeks ago for his second birthday.

Alas, it has been almost a year since I made my last additions to this list.  I suppose I shall start with yesterday's occurances that prompted this post, huh?  Here goes:

You Might Be a Mother of Boys If...

60. You know what two dozen eggs splattered across a kitchen floor looks like.

61. You know just how tough it is to get the stain from an entire pitcher of dark red Crystal Light out of your living room carpet.

62. Every meal is a "see"food meal, whether you're serving seafood or not.

63. You know how difficult it is to get Vaseline out of a shih tzu's hair.

64. You know that magic marker fades on its own from a dog's hair in approximately four days.

65. Anything and everything in your house is climbed on, climbed up, and climbed over.

66. Because of #65, there is nothing in your house that your children can not get to if they set their mind to it.

67. You've used the sentence, "No, we do NOT hit baby brother with a baseball bat."

68. By the age of five, your son can burp an entire sentence.

69. Often times, said son and his father have contests during dinner to see whose sentence is the longest.

70. You often walk around for an entire day before realizing that you have snail trails down your sleeves and/or pant legs.

71. No matter how much you hate the fuzzy bath mats that slip around the bottom of your toilet like a baby bib, you have to use one in all bathrooms in your home.  YOU.HAVE.TO.

72. While you keep the pantry well stocked with a supply of paper towels, napkins, and baby wipes, your children rarely use them, opting instead for wiping their grime-covered hands all over their freshly washed clothes...or yours.

73. While Home Alone has always been a holiday favorite of yours, you hesitate to let your children watch it because you know one day your children will try to recreate Kevin McAllister's battle plan in your home...but you let them watch it anyway.

74. Your children's dress-up clothes appear to be the costumes for members of The Village People.

75. You've found enough random Lego pieces in your house to construct a miniature version of your house.

Can't go without a pic of my other wild and crazy kid--love my Chan!

To take a look at the first three installments of my list, click the links below:

You Might Be a Mother of Boys...Part One

You Might Be a Mother of Boys...Part Deux

You Might Be a Mother of Boys...Part Three

 "Boys are God's way of telling you that your house is too neat."

~Anonymous~

Till next time friends!

Brittany :)

You Might Be a Mother of Boys If...Part 3

Snips, and snails, and puppy dog tails...that's what little boys are made of.  Okay maybe not.  But, my oldest does now have a snail for a pet.  See:

This little fella has been given a nice, luxurious new home in a sand bucket with plenty of soil thanks to his new owner.  At one point, Chan even told me that he'd fed the snail and it had plenty of food...should probably check on that.  Anyhoo, this lovely addition to our family this week got me thinking of my "You Might Be a Mother of Boys" list (seeing as how the pet snail thing was #10 on the first part of my list...this is a secondary occurrence for us).  So, here are a few more recent additions to my list:

You Might Be a Mother of Boys If:

50. Your children are rough and tough from the time that they are infants.  So much so that your 11 month old head butts other babies at daycare.

51. The bottom rack of your dishwasher has, at one point or another, been used as a car or a dinosaur cage.

52. Nuts and balls are technical terms for male anatomy.

53. You (unfortunately) know what "poop basghetti" is.

54. With very rare exceptions, bathtime must occur every night due to the amount of dirt, filth, and grime that covers your child.

55. Your jewelry box has been raided, not for dress up, but for pirate treasure.

56. Your 4 year old has gotten two black eyes...at church.

57. You know you should start saving for grocery bills for when your children are teens because your 13 month old can consume more food at one meal than the other three members of your family and your dogs combined.

58. You have unknowingly gone out in public with Legos stuck to your leg. (Wendy Hardin!)

59. You have had bouncy balls thrown at you repeatedly when you were just trying to go potty.

Okay, that's all I've got for now...give me a few more days and I'm sure I will have more to add!  These boys sure do keep me on my toes!  But, I wouldn't have it any other way!

"Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable."

~Plato~

Till next week friends!

Brittany :)

You Might Be a Mother of Boys If...Part Deux

Oh, the joys of boys!  This week I don't have any profoundness to share with you, but I do have a few additions to my "You Might Be a Mother of Boys" list.  So, here goes:

You Might Be a Mother of Boys If...Part 2

26. You know that the bird will, in fact, come back if you take the egg out of the nest and promptly return it.

27. You know that monster trucks don't work quite as well as rolling pins, but they get the job done.

28. Likewise, you know that rolling pins work just as well (if not better) than monster trucks when rolling out Play-Doh or mud for mud pies.

29. You've found nests of pine needles, grass, sticks, and rocks in random spots in your home because "baby eggs need homes, too"...baby Easter eggs & Angry bird eggs that is.

30. You have no idea what it would be like to have new clothes for your children that keep their "new" appearance.  It never fails that stains in the form of dirt, mud, vomit, blood, grass, marker, or paint will appear on these "new" clothes during their initial wearing.

31. You also know that if you put yourself OR your child in white clothing (new or not), one of the aforementioned stains will happen within approximately 2-3 minutes of dressing.

32. It never fails that the minute you finish washing, drying, folding, and putting away laundry for the week, one of the boys will pee, poop, or vomit on themselves...thus beginning your next load of laundry.

33. You have come home to find that your driveway has been turned in to a treasure map and many X's are marking hidden treasure.

34. Following mealtimes, you end up cleaning more food off of the table, wall, chairs, floors, and faces than what probably ended up in bellies.

35. You know that all yellow construction vehicles are NOT bulldozers, and you can correctly name and tell apart the bulldozers from the excavators, rollers, backhoes, loaders, dumpers, forklifts, and dump trucks.

36. You also know that all green and yellow John Deere vehicles are NOT tractors, and you can correctly name and tell apart the tractors from the plowers, cultivators, crop sprayers, combine harvesters, balers, and loaders.

37. You know how many children your dryer can fit comfortably.

38. You continue saving cardboard boxes after the rocket ships, pirate ships, and cars have long fallen apart, because new boxes can be turned into birdhouses, helicopters, cash registers, and cuckoo clocks.

39. Your 4 year old can clog toilets like a champion.

40. You know which small things can fit in a nostril, which things cannot fit, and which things get stuck.

41. You have had your child participate in soccer practice wearing a red fleece scarf wrapped around his head because he wanted to be a "soccer ninja".

42. In your home, the words disgusting, gross, nasty, smelly, bloody, yucky, and stinky are all synonymous with awesome.

43. You've discovered that duct tape and super glue don't always cut it and have invested in a supply of Elmer's glue, Velcro, twist ties, pipe cleaners, masking tape, scotch tape, safety pins, and glue sticks...among other things.

44. Both your counters tops and coffee table are "decorated" with Sharpie markers.

45. You have find your child eating sugar...with a spoon...out of a bowl.

46. You have also found your child eating ice cream...with his hands...out of the carton.

47. You have also found your child eating out of the dog food bowl...and drinking out of the water bowl.

48. You children own head-to-toe camouflage outfits.

49. No matter how hard you try to keep your walls clean, they are covered in hand prints in every room in the house.

Like I said, oh the joys!  I am beyond blessed to be the mother of these two unmanageable creatures.  Here's a couple shots of them on Easter in case you need a dose of their cuteness this morning.

Liam during his first Easter egg hunt a few weeks ago

And Chandler.  I will never understand this child. :)

"Boys are beyond the range of anyone's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years."

  ~James Thurber~

Till next week friends!

Brittany :)

You Might Be a Mother of Boys If...

This week's blog post came to me today after a Facebook post that I made.  As I was pulling laundry out of the washer today, I noticed something sticking out of one of the holes in the machine.  What was it?  A tiny little sword.  And laying at the bottom of the washer was Chandler's key to his play handcuffs.  It got me thinking of all the things that are done and said in this house that remind me that we are indeed raising two little boys.

For some time now I have joked that I have three boys: the baby, the big kid, and the really BIG kid (also known as Daddy).  Yes, our house is overflowing with testosterone, and I can only imagine what the years to come will bring.  I mean, even the dogs are boys, and I'm pretty sure the sea monkey is, too.  I wouldn't have it any other way, though.  I mean check out these sweet faces of my boys!

My boys :)

So, for this week's blog I have decided to compile a list of things that remind me that our household is very little Sugar & Spice (only what I bring to the table), and a whole lot of Snips & Snails.  As a tribute to Jeff Foxworthy, here is my "You Might Be a Mother of Boys if..." list.  (By the way, I'm pretty sure I will be making additions to this list in the days, months, and years to come.  These are just what came to mind today.)

You Might Be the Mother of Boys If....

1. Shopping for the kids' clothes is not as time consuming due to the fact that the selection pales in comparison to that of the girls, and because the boys simply don't care what they wear.  I think they would be happy in loincloths.

2. It is not uncommon to find buried treasure in the backyard in the form of Daddy's tools or Mommy's kitchen utensils.

3.Cuts, bumps, and bruises are far too common and 4 out of 5 times you don't know what caused them.

4. The dogs are not the only ones who use the backyard as their bathroom.

5. You collect cardboard boxes because they can be turned into pirate ships, or Army tanks, or rocketships.

6. You cannot throw away anything without one of the kids taking it out of the trash.  Because, toilet paper tubes can be used as missile launchers, paper towel tubes can be telescopes, and cereal boxes can be used for "decoration".

7. Duck tape and super glue are never in short supply in your house.

8. As much you try to stop it, potty talk is common language in your household.  Butt, fart, pee, poop, bottom, and wiener will always make the kids laugh, and they just laugh harder when told to stop.

9. It is near impossible to get through a meal without some of the aforementioned potty talk sneaking it's way into dinner conversation.

10. Other than your dogs, pets come in the form of sea monkeys, earthworms, snails, and rocks.

11. You have an arsenal of plastic weaponry in the house that includes machine guns, cap guns, bows and arrows, battle axes, swords, knifes, and missile launchers.

12.  NERF darts are found in every room, crack, and crevice of your home.

13. As much as you may not want them to be, video games are a staple in your house.

14. Your 4 year old beat Super Mario World on his Daddy's 3DS before his Daddy did.

15. You know what it sounds like to have rocks in your dryer.

16. You often hear from the big kid or the really big kid a preemptive, "This is probably not a good idea".

17. It is not uncommon to be called into the bathroom to view "accomplishments".

18. 3 out of 4 of you think that farts are always funny.

19. Everything is done at the speed of fast.

20. There are two types of gender according to your boys, those with wieners and those with "no wiener".

21. When you scroll through the photos on your cell phone it is not uncommon to find pictures of earthworms, nostrils, or those potty "accomplishments".

22. At least a few times a year you have an incredibly sore back from bending over to make a road out of sidewalk chalk that spans the entire driveway.

23. There is often an unsavory smell in the room and you don't know which kid it came from.

24.  There is not a single doll in the house, but you have enough cars, trucks, motorbikes, and bulldozers to fill a small country.

25. Your little boy thinks that you hung the moon and stars, and that Daddy is a superhero.

"A boy is Truth with dirt on it's face, Beauty with a cut on its finger,
Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair, and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket."
-- Author Unknown

Till next week friends!

Brittany :)